Identifying Cognitive Dissonances

Vocab Review

Align (v) – to bring into agreement or match up correctly with something else.

Example: It's important to align your daily schedule with your actual priorities, not just your habits.

Cognitive dissonance (n) – the mental discomfort felt when someone holds two conflicting beliefs, or when their actions don't match their beliefs.

Example: She felt a wave of cognitive dissonance after criticizing gossip and then gossiping about a coworker five minutes later.

Contradicting (adj/v) – conflicting with or being the opposite of something else.

Example: The students were confused when the two history teachers gave contradicting descriptions of what happened in the war.

Rationalizing (v) – creating logical-sounding reasons to justify a decision or behavior, often after the fact.

Example: He spent the whole drive home rationalizing why he'd skipped the gym again.

Justify (v) – to give a reason or explanation that makes an action seem acceptable.

Example: It's hard to justify spending that much money on a bag you'll only wear once.

Deceiving (v) – misleading someone (including yourself) into believing something untrue.

Example: He was deceiving himself into thinking the relationship would eventually get better.

Get rid of (phrasal verb) – to eliminate or remove something.

Example: I finally got rid of the anxiety I felt before every presentation by preparing more.

Thorough (adj) – complete and detailed, leaving nothing out.

Example: The mechanic did a thorough inspection of the car before the long road trip.

Tremendous (adj) – very great in size, amount, or degree.

Example: Learning a new language as an adult takes a tremendous amount of patience.

Indecisiveness (n) – the inability to make decisions in a timely manner.

Example: His indecisiveness at restaurants drives his friends crazy, he takes twenty minutes to order.

Peer pressure (n) – the influence from people your own age or social group to think or act a certain way.

Example: She gave in to peer pressure and skipped class with her friends, even though she didn't want to.

Earnestly (adv) – in a way that is sincere and serious.

Example: He earnestly apologized, and you could tell he genuinely meant it.

Identifying Cognitive Dissonances

Why do we feel that guilty ache in our stomachs when we tell a lie or do something we shouldn't? It happens when we eat junk food that we know is bad for us, or continue to smoke after deciding to quit and get healthier. Whenever our beliefs or values do not align with our actions, there is an intense level of mental discomfort.

Psychologists call this uncomfortable feeling ‘cognitive dissonance’ - the mental discomfort experienced by someone holding contradicting beliefs, values, or information; or when their actions conflict with their beliefs. This negative feeling encourages us to relieve the tension by either rationalizing our actions or changing our behavior.

Consider a smoker attempting to quit: after years of being happy about smoking, they learn that smoking is harmful and decide to stop. If they immediately go outside and smoke a cigarette, they will experience negative feelings such as shame and guilt. To make themselves feel better, they may try to justify their action - often saying, "nobody can quit immediately," or "I already bought the pack, so I might as well finish it." In these examples, the person who smoked is deceiving themselves in order to feel better and get rid of their cognitive dissonance.

Cognitive dissonance is something that everyone experiences. But it is not just a bad feeling that we have when we make a mistake, they are meant to guide us. In fact, a thorough inspection of our cognitive dissonances will lead to a tremendous amount of personal growth.

When Do We Feel Cognitive Dissonance?

When we can’t make decisions

Being unable to make a decision is more than just indecisiveness. It represents an internal conflict between values. Let’s say you can’t decide whether or not to go out with your friends on Friday night. The two opposing values could be that you value your friends and want to do something exciting because you worked hard this week, and that you also really want to read a book, order delivery, and sleep early. 

The solution to most cognitive dissonance is to remember what your core values are. If you value physical and mental health more, then don’t try to convince yourself that you have to go out and do something exciting with your friends. Upon examination, you may find that when unable to make a decision, you are trying very hard to persuade yourself that you want to do one thing while the other option is something that you simply do want.

When we justify and rationalize our behavior

As humans, we have become professionally skilled at making excuses for our actions. When we don’t wake up at 5 AM and go for a run like we said we would, it only takes a few seconds of feeling guilty before we quickly remind ourselves that good sleep is more important and that we can do a bigger workout some other time. The cognitive dissonance is your opposing values of exercising and comfort, which leads you to rationalize the choice you made - and no matter which choice you make, you will rationalize that choice.

While the solution here is also to remind yourself of your core values, you must also catch yourself when you are making automatic excuses. Most things can be easily justified in our minds, so justification is not proof that something was the right choice; justifications are cheap - anyone can justify most things. Instead, remind yourself of your core values. If you feel mentally exhausted from work, waking up at 5 am to go to the gym may not align with what you really value (your health).

When we give in to social pressure

No matter how old you are, you will always face peer pressure. If when your boss asks you to do something unethical, you feel inclined to please him, you may likely feel an inner tension. This is cognitive dissonance - your value of pleasing your boss conflicts with your value of being an ethical person. 

When we become closed-minded

It is common to deny new information that disagrees with what we already believe to be true. We do this to avoid the uncomfortable feeling of cognitive dissonance. When we discover information that challenges our pre-existing beliefs, it can be crushing to accept that we might be wrong, so we may impulsively reject the truth. However, this leads to ignorance, a closed mind, and missed opportunities.

To overcome this, it is necessary to get comfortable with the fact that you will never know everything about a single topic. There will always be information that changes your perspective. When you hear something that opposes what you believe or know, accept it, listen to it all, and consider it earnestly. 

If you are not aware of it, cognitive dissonance can be dreadful. It can create a terrible cycle of behavior that you do not condone, negative emotions, and self-deception and denial. Ultimately, it can turn your life into a living hell. 

However, being aware of cognitive dissonance and how it appears in our lives can allow you to make meaningful changes in your life and live in a way that brings you peace and harmony, rather than stress and regret.

The main theme of cognitive dissonance is that you need to make sure your core values are driving your behaviors and actions, rather than letting temporary comfort or excuses dictate how you live (and even change how you think). By identifying when cognitive dissonance appears in your life and re-examining your choices and values, you can align your life with what truly matters to you.

Questions:

• Have you ever heard of cognitive dissonance before?

• How can knowing about cognitive dissonance help us make personal growth?

• Have you ever made a difficult decision?

• Have you ever felt peer pressure?

• Do you think it's okay to do something unethical if your boss tells you to?

• Have you ever tried to quit a bad habit?

• Have you ever justified things that you did to make yourself better?

• Do you think it's important to be open-minded?

• Do you think people become more closed-minded as they get older? Why or why not?

• Why do you think it's so uncomfortable to admit we were wrong about something?

• Do you think social media makes it harder or easier to stay open-minded?